The Akatsuki Goes to Dennys
by Mairu and Kururi
Summary: This is why Hidan shouldn't be allowed to leave the house... T for Hidan and forks.


**A/N: God, I don't know what's wrong with me today… Two different plot directions, it seems.**

The van was packed with teenagers, most forced to sit on someone's lap, or to sit on the floor. The two in the front seats were Pein and Konan, two college freshman that had been dating since their sophomore year of high school. Konan kept demanding Pein to let her see the GPS, but Pein held it just out of her reach, laughing.

In the next row sat four brooding, emo-like kids. Itachi, a tall, black haired high school senior, sat on a tan, muscled college sophomore. Kisame and Itachi had known each other since Itachi started kindergarten, and Itachi harbored a secret crush on him for years. Finally, it was their first week of going out, and Itachi was thoroughly embarrassed by this much of PDA. Next to them sat a blonde highschool junior and a senior with an excess amount of stitches. Hidan and Kakuzu had been screwing with eachother, and after four years of flirting and giggling, they were finally going out.

The third and final row held Deidara and Sasaori, two art students who dropped out of high school together and had begun to start an art business together. They were doing amazingly well for two teens, and still managed to be in love, no matter the stress they were sitting under. Next to them sat Tobi, Itachi's younger cousin. He sat next to Zetsu, a pale, yellow-eyed college senior, and held his hand, asleep on his shoulder.

After almost an hour of driving and searching, they found what they had long-since searched for. A Dennys. They had been craving pancakes and cheese and grease for a long while, and agreed the thirty minute drive would be worth it. Of course, Pein sense of direction was absolute crap…

He parked quickly, and the car emptied, Tobi yelling that he had to pee, Deidara claiming he was claustrophobic, and Hidan demanding everyone to get out of his fucking way. The group scrambled inside, was seated, and looked for what they wanted.

"I demand pancakes!" Hidan yelled dramatically. Knowing him, he probably expected his so-called 'Jashin' to deliver some.

"I demand your demise," Deidara snapped, glaring past his long bangs.

"And I demand your art not to suck ass, but we all don't get what we want!"

"Shut up! My art is a bang!"

"And your face will become art once I bang it into the table!"

After the two cats had been finished scratching at each other, they returned to their respective boyfriends, muttering and fixing their hairs.

The waitress stumbled over after a good thirty minutes, ready to take orders.

After a collection of odd requests, the waitress stumbled away.

"She didn't look like a Jashinist…" Hidan muttered.

"Not everyone worships a fictional deity that promotes masochism, Hidan," Pein sighed.

"Well, everyone should. And he isn't fictional! He is real!" Hidan snapped,

Konan laughed. "How do you know?"

Of course, this decision of Konan's invoked the never ending conversation that was Religion.

Thank god, the waitress came back, with their drinks, and food they didn't remember ordering. Food was eaten, and people began to inhale their meals.

When the waitress came back, everyone was full and happy. Well, as happy as they could get after eating at Dennys. She put the bill down and left.

Everyone gasped. Over two hundred dollars?! They knew that they all ate like pigs, but they didn't know it was so expensive…

When the waitress came back, Hidan had something to say. But, doesn't he always?

"Our meal wasn't this much," he snapped, bluntly.

The waitress rolled her eyes, as if she dealt with customers like him often. Because she probably did.

"Meh. Just pay and leave."

"No."

"Yes. Lord almighty, just pay and go!"

Hidan's eyes narrowed into fine slits, and he reached behind him for a fork. "Nope. But you'll pay." And he stabbed the waitress in the shoulder. With a fork.

"In the name of Lord Stab-a-Bitch, I demand compensation!"

And the Akatsuki fled. For their lives.

**A/N: By far the worst thing I've ever written.**


End file.
